She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
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