So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
