we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
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