your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
That accounts for only three of the penises
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
