I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
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