1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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