ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
