After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
She announced her abortion via fbk
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Randomize
