Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
