i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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