check it out our google latitudes are spooning
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
