Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
