I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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