i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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