Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Randomize
