he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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