so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
her facebook's as public as her vagina
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Randomize
