i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
I just blew my weed a kiss
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
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