Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
