Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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