How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
