Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
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