How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
