his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
