Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
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