fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Shitshow foam night was such a success
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
