Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
zippers are such a cool invention
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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