Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Randomize
