Christians are straight up FREAKS
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
