i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
i dont even know how to be here
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Randomize
