Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
