Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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