I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
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