can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Randomize
