I wannas sexs uuuuu
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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