gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize