oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Randomize
