in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
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