Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Let's paint friendship bongs
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Randomize
