oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
