don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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