We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Randomize
