Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
