idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
What a dumb baby whore.
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He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
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I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
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