Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
