when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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