shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
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omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
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