FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
