haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
