On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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