I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
