so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I enjoy the company of your penis
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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