I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
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