can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Randomize
