The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
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Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
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