Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Randomize
