So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
