Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize