Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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