I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I have feelings that need drinking.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Randomize
