let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
Randomize
