If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
youre lurking in front of me
She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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