I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
